Africa is so amazingly diverse, if you can imagine it - we have it somewhere. (As well as a lot off stuff that people find hard to imagine!) Be it a lazy, tropical Island breakaway or a hard core, adrenaline filled adventure - I will do my best to help you get the most out of your holiday. Seeing that this blog is a brand new project - it will take a while to grow. If you have a particular destination in mind that has not been featured yet, just send me a mail and I will assist in any way possible. Postings on this blog are based on personal experience. I plan to rate places and venues visited on a 'must go' or 'avoid' basis. I will also give a Lemon Award to the very worst festering pits that I have had the misfortune of stumbling across... If you have a comment, or your own input - lets have it! Complaints and compliments received from readers will be forwarded to the relevant venue for comment and/or follow up action. Please bear in mind that opinions expressed in this blog are my personal views only and I do not presume to know everybodys tastes... Any other advice dispensed is based on personal experience, and may not be factually correct. I therefore will not be held responsible if you do something silly after reading my advice on the matter. My main purpose here is to help you to think and plan in the right directions. I trust that you will have as much fun visiting this blog as I plan to have while writing the posts.

Sunday 18 January 2009

Umzimvubu Retreat

Welcome to Umzimvubu Retreat in Port St Johns! 

Port St Johns is a lovely little village, located in
 the middle of the untamed Wild Coast of South Africa. The town, and surrounding area deserves a post all to itself, so I will not delve much further, but please believe me when I say that this is a prime destination, and should be visited at least once (twice, if you subscribe to my philosophy) in your life. Most definitely one of my absolute favorite destinations.
What makes the are so special is that is is nice and remote, and there is no road that passes by - the main road to Port St Johns, ends in Port St Johns. This ensures that there are no 'accidental tourists' here, only people who really want to visit Port St Johns. 

Umzimvubu Retreat is situated perfectly, with an unrivalled view of where the mighty Umzimvubu River flows into the Indian Ocean.
The rooms are furnished in such a way as to ensure maximum comfort, and it is easy enough to just laze away the day on your bed, or on the porch while soaking up the view...
Elsa, the hostess, is a master chef and you can rest assured that any meals prepared in her kitchen will leave you begging for more - that's if you can still handle more. She is used to South African guests so she is most definitely not shy when it comes to her portions! 

There are a lot of nature based activities to keep one busy during the day, too many to describe here in detail. Fishing, hiking, swimming, bird watching, great fishing (coastal or deep sea) are but a few of the attractions. Dries and Elsa will be more than happy to assist in arranging excursions for you.

Golfers: This Guest House has a 9/18 hole golf course right in their own back yard! I say this 'under correction' but as far as I am aware this Port St Johns course is the longest course in the world, on the smallest piece of real estate (or something like that).
I personally think that golf is an expensive way to ruin a nice walk, so please forgive my lack of interest... I have been assured that it is a very nice (and extremely affordable) course by my golfing friends, please contact Dries himself for more specific info about the course.

I must add that one runs the risk of contracting the dreaded Pondo Fever when visiting (it is nearly a guarantee) so please tell your friends and family where you are going beforehand, if you really want to return to your old life...

Here are the most basic symptoms of the disease:
1. Unwillingness to travel more than 5 km from Port St Johns for any reason whatsoever.
2. Extreme calmness.
3. A sense of well being not to be experienced anywhere else on this planet.
4. The 'real world' becomes a distant, alien concept.
5. Resistance to the thought of returning to such a 'real world,' ever...

This is no joke - there are people living in Port St Johns that only 'visited in passing' and are still there after 15 years! Last year a dentist went there foar a short break - after the long weekend he sent his wife home to go and sell his practice, he is still there... 

Anyhow - I had such a great time there that I have decided to design a website fro them while i was down there - I'm still busy with it, so please forgive if all the info is not yet in place.


Pierre said...

Hi Tony - a nice description of Umzimvubu Retreat, congrats. FYI they are about to launch a new, improved menu so do visit!!! Perhaps you would like to also at a review or pictures at trivago?
Greetings from Cape Town,

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